Sunday, November 2, 2008

Quickly I Obey?

Today was stake conference and instead of sitting on metal folding chairs in the gym of our church building for two hours with two little boys who would not be capable of sitting still, we went for the soft seats in the relief society room where a television screen was showing what was going on in the chapel. It was very nice. Lots of young ones in that room and very little pressure to keep them all quiet as mice. The kids didn't exactly run around in there, but they didn't exactly stay in their seats either.

The little one (hereafter referred to as Colonel) was making a game of walking across the room to the piano, turning around to lean against the piano's back, and smiling coyly back at us. It was cute and very non-disruptive.

Then the three-year-old (hereafter referred to as Professor) decided he ought to try this game. Somehow not so cute and a bit disruptive. I reached out toward him and whispered a request for him to come back.

"NOooo!" he squealed.

I looked at their dad (hereafter called Howard Ently or just Howard) for assistance. He likewise gestured and whispered a firm command. Come here!

Professor again said no and looked at us a bit. So I'm wracking my brain for how to get the desired result without causing a loud screamy scene with everyone who's behind us in the room watching; I'm worrying that I'm a terrible parent because I never enforce my boundaries; I'm wondering what all these people are thinking of my parental impotence.

But it was all a waste because as I finished those thoughts, Professor walked right back over and sat down in his chair.

Oh. Okay.

Now, you might say he just got tired of being over there and was ready to come back. But I think he just needed a little time to think about the parental requests and to decide on his own if he wanted to obey.

I have these expectations that immediately upon hearing my commands, he's going to jump up and do exactly what I've asked him. And sure, sometimes he does. But as I reflected on that little moment, I realized that usually, yes usually, he responds with an immediate "NO!" and then, if I leave him alone a bit, he'll obey in a few minutes.

I mean, think about it. When someone (say, God for example, or maybe one of His chosen prophets) asks me to do something, do I jump up and obey immediately?

So it's not that my boy is disobedient or defiant, as it sometimes seems. I don't obey immediately sometimes because I'm not sure I'm up for it or I'm afraid of the result or that following the command will be painful or unpopular. Sometimes I just need a moment to think about how much I trust the person who's made the request. Is it a good request? Sometimes it's simply a human need to let some time pass so we feel we are doing it because we want to and not because we have to. Not blind following but chosen obedience.

I guess I need to adjust my expectations. I can ask for Professor to come back to me and then be silent and watch and wait for his decision. I can be a little more patient, as I hope my heavenly parents are with me.

On the other hand, if I expect speedy obedience from my three-year-old, shouldn't God be able to expect a bit of the same from me?